The cure for burn-out

According to Dr. Patch Adams, the clown/physician, burn-out is a state in which people are unfulfilled by their work and are insufficiently rejuvenated. They find themselves giving too much for too long, then something snuffs out the joy and thrill of their lives and their work.

Medical doctor; Clown; Performer; Social Activist; Founder and Director of the Gesundheit Institute, a holistic medical community that has provided free medical care to thousands of patients since it began in 1971; Author of Gesundheit! & House Calls; Moving Speaker.

Nonetheless, most researchers agree that solutions can be found in change. Rest alone does not heal burn-out. Real change must be integrated into the life of a patient. Solutions can be found in a combination of medication and/or a change in a patient’s workplace, lifestyle, perception or world view.

As an immigrant, I may have unknowingly brought in my third-world mentality of "suffering is good for the soul." I have to shed this Jesuit-taught aversion to money, to enjoying oneself--and stop feeling guilty. This guilt, my big enemy, has robbed me of my joy, energy, and hope. My problem is feeling guilty when I rest because yaya S might feel bad. Para bang I'm so blessed, I should suffer. (Where did I ever learn that rubbish?)

I think everyone who knows this about me calls me silly. Sabi nga ni Donna Freedman, "There's a world of difference between poverty and poverty of spirit."

I will take the cue from my virtual mentor, Oprah, to seize "me time" whenever I can, and not feel guilty. In fact, I resolve to enjoy myself for the sake of my family. What use is a burnt-out mom and wife to them?

I also resolve to exercise more. The gym near us is truly a blessing.

I also resolve to redefine the American Dream as not just for the kids, but also for me (and maybe R). I know we're allowed to have our own little midlife dreams to pursue, too. Let me dare to say that mine is to train for the next fun marathon, the Bay to Bay Breakers.

Why not?

I realized that I denied myself the joy of life. In wanting to give only to the kids, I ran out of steam. In the process, I did not notice the symptoms of burn-out coming: always feeling sick, no energy, no excitement and no joy.

My editor assigned me to cover a "laughter seminar," where the speaker asked: "Who among you laughs ten times a day?"

There were such a poor show of hands.

The speaker said we have become too serious about life and didn't allow ourselves to be silly. Did you know that laughter relieved stress, reduced blood pressure, boost the immune system, lift you self-esteem, helps you stay mentally alert, enhances your mood and is touted to be better than yoga and meditation as "inner aerobics."

Until I get medical insurance, I had better start laughing ten times a day. Oh the speaker said, there doesn't need to be a reason to laugh. When you start smiling or laughing, the brain doesn't know the difference.

And if laughter is good for the health, it is said that loneliness can make you sick. My brother, Mig, told me that isolation is part of my burn-out. He says I have no friends because we live so far away. I resolve to move nearer the beautiful San Francisco peninsula in two years, when the kids go on to new school levels.

For more on the health effects of loneliness, click here.

I will also take heed of my mom's advise--to factor in an allowance from the budget for myself. So tomorrow, I will watch a movie. And then next week, I am going with my mom and her friends to Las Vegas to watch Martin Nievera. And on April, I am going to visit my friend who had a baby (cheers!) and spend a night with them in Manhattan, where I believe we will find solace in our R&R. Yehehey!

Thanks for all you comments and support! And don't be like me, always forgetting to find my joy, just because I live with them.