Migrating to the US has made me aware of another facet in life. I have become fascinated with immigrant stories (Filipino or otherwise) and I have come to know people more deeply by asking them about their stories. Also I have gained strength from these stories--using them to navigate our own challenges here.
I have come to know my cousin-in-law's first job when he came here-- scraping dried bubble gum off the sidewalks. Then he went on to take 2 jobs : scrubbing the toilets of McDonald's in the mornings and then counting candy at the back of a convenience store at night.
I have come to know my cousin-in-law's first job when he came here-- scraping dried bubble gum off the sidewalks. Then he went on to take 2 jobs : scrubbing the toilets of McDonald's in the mornings and then counting candy at the back of a convenience store at night.
He is now a top executive at Warner Bros. He also owns a Porsche and a C-class MB. Way to go!
I have come to know the story of my cousins. Comfortable with their own beds in their room in Manila, (with their 2 yayas sleeping with them to keep them company), they had to share a single matress they picked up from the curb, for four years! No wonder those sisters are so close! I assure you they each sleep in new and wonderful queen-size beds todays, among their other abundant blessings.
I learned about my brother, Philippine country manager of Sony Ericsson before he came over. He was wiped out after a divorce and his Master's Degree. While job-hunting in Manhattan, with a budget of only $1 for food lunch. He could buy only a Sabrett sidewalk hotdog sandwich and he had to wait until he got to his job interview to drink from their water fountain.
I have come to know a bit more about Tito C., an immigrant who couldn't seem to find a job that suited him well here, as he was used to higher positions in Manila. My mom calls him "society boy," (whatever that is!)--always in the lifestyle newspapers. He shuttled back and forth US and Manila, and stayed in Manila for 9 years before he came back again. He is waiting for his wife's pension to kick and they plan to retire in Manila.
I have met many who led comfortable lives in Manila--where they lived in a nice area, their kids went to the top private, Catholic schools, where they had a car and a house (supposedly the American Dream). So like, me they have questioned their migrating and reflected on the question, "Is it really a better life here?" as they slug it out in the beginning of their immigrant lives here--so humbling, so financially tight, so devoid of household help, and for many, so full of loneliness and homesickness, and a pervasive feeling of disconnect.
Remember, the average American has only 2.1 friends (and you can't count relatives or spouses). I realize now that this is simply because there is no time to cultivate time for those 2.1 friends in the midst of laundry, dusting and cleaning the bathrooms in the week-ends.
"Yung natitira mong oras, itutulog mo nalang," I heard someone say, gearing up for the work week ahead.
So why did we come here and why do we slug it out here, under-utilizing our education, our skills, our whole being?
After 3 years of living here as an immigrant, I think this is the number one answer:
We came here and chose to be humbled for the sake of the kids.
Here, the public school system is competent and free of charge. With five children, I am NOT complaining. My eldest is poised for Universtiy and we are all excited. Should we be short with funds, we can take out a low-interest student loan, which he pays in installments only after he graduates.
When he graduates, there is sure to be work for him. Unlike in Manila, the best case scenario for a new graduate is working in call center. I have nothing against call centers. I am just beginning to see the opportunities ahead of my children here.
My second son wants to be an actor. If he doesn't make it, he also likes to create films or digitally design Nintendo games. My third son wants to be a zoo-keeper, or maybe a geologist.
What future would he have in the Philippines as a geologist?
So on this 3rd year as immigrant, answers are pouring in. I am getting the hang of slugging it out. In fact, I feel something has shifted inside. When you stretch into a new consciousness, it is hard to shrink back. It just happens.
According to Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth, you are experiencing now exactly what your spirit needs to evolve further.
This is the first time I am facing immigrant challenges consciously, versus just going with the flow. I realize that we were off to a good start--we have papers, we live in a nice place, we have beds, and kahit papano, jobs. There will still be many precious nuggets along the way and I am just so happy to pick them up.
I have come to know the story of my cousins. Comfortable with their own beds in their room in Manila, (with their 2 yayas sleeping with them to keep them company), they had to share a single matress they picked up from the curb, for four years! No wonder those sisters are so close! I assure you they each sleep in new and wonderful queen-size beds todays, among their other abundant blessings.
I learned about my brother, Philippine country manager of Sony Ericsson before he came over. He was wiped out after a divorce and his Master's Degree. While job-hunting in Manhattan, with a budget of only $1 for food lunch. He could buy only a Sabrett sidewalk hotdog sandwich and he had to wait until he got to his job interview to drink from their water fountain.
I have come to know a bit more about Tito C., an immigrant who couldn't seem to find a job that suited him well here, as he was used to higher positions in Manila. My mom calls him "society boy," (whatever that is!)--always in the lifestyle newspapers. He shuttled back and forth US and Manila, and stayed in Manila for 9 years before he came back again. He is waiting for his wife's pension to kick and they plan to retire in Manila.
I have met many who led comfortable lives in Manila--where they lived in a nice area, their kids went to the top private, Catholic schools, where they had a car and a house (supposedly the American Dream). So like, me they have questioned their migrating and reflected on the question, "Is it really a better life here?" as they slug it out in the beginning of their immigrant lives here--so humbling, so financially tight, so devoid of household help, and for many, so full of loneliness and homesickness, and a pervasive feeling of disconnect.
Remember, the average American has only 2.1 friends (and you can't count relatives or spouses). I realize now that this is simply because there is no time to cultivate time for those 2.1 friends in the midst of laundry, dusting and cleaning the bathrooms in the week-ends.
"Yung natitira mong oras, itutulog mo nalang," I heard someone say, gearing up for the work week ahead.
So why did we come here and why do we slug it out here, under-utilizing our education, our skills, our whole being?
After 3 years of living here as an immigrant, I think this is the number one answer:
We came here and chose to be humbled for the sake of the kids.
Here, the public school system is competent and free of charge. With five children, I am NOT complaining. My eldest is poised for Universtiy and we are all excited. Should we be short with funds, we can take out a low-interest student loan, which he pays in installments only after he graduates.
When he graduates, there is sure to be work for him. Unlike in Manila, the best case scenario for a new graduate is working in call center. I have nothing against call centers. I am just beginning to see the opportunities ahead of my children here.
My second son wants to be an actor. If he doesn't make it, he also likes to create films or digitally design Nintendo games. My third son wants to be a zoo-keeper, or maybe a geologist.
What future would he have in the Philippines as a geologist?
So on this 3rd year as immigrant, answers are pouring in. I am getting the hang of slugging it out. In fact, I feel something has shifted inside. When you stretch into a new consciousness, it is hard to shrink back. It just happens.
According to Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth, you are experiencing now exactly what your spirit needs to evolve further.
This is the first time I am facing immigrant challenges consciously, versus just going with the flow. I realize that we were off to a good start--we have papers, we live in a nice place, we have beds, and kahit papano, jobs. There will still be many precious nuggets along the way and I am just so happy to pick them up.
So, it has become a better life for us here, now. I learned that it is what you make of it. Happy, sad, or better life--that's your call and your decision.
And though I am below average with the 2.1 friends, I am so glad that I am not an average American with $8500 in credit card debt.
I have just become obsessed with statistics. . .
And though I am below average with the 2.1 friends, I am so glad that I am not an average American with $8500 in credit card debt.
I have just become obsessed with statistics. . .
5 comments:
Hello Minotte
Your blog today really hit the spot. I have been an avid reader of your blogs and especilly like the frugal immigrant one. Its almost 4 years for me in Canada, and just like you and many others, that question always pops up, especially on my way home from work in a transit bus, staring out the window and it is -40C and blowing snow outside and I am freezing to death. But when I think of my kids, ay...it melts that snow! Buti nga I can ride the bus pa and be safe, that we have jobs, a home and food to eat. You are so right, it is my call. And yes, the number 1 answer is the same for me. I am familiar with the area you live in, we have family in Brentwood. Best of luck and God bless you and your family.
Since you asked:
Cousin 1, geologist:
project manager for a big mining firm somewhere in Luzon. He has no Porsche, but he travels around Asia with his family, visits with relatives almost every week, goes on academic and industry conferences abroad to represent his company.
Cousin 2, geologist:
formerly a geophysicist with a major energy corporation based in the Philippines, now retired and living somewhere in the mountains of Laguna. He has no Porsche, but he travels around Asia with his significant other, lives within a kilometer of his extended family, and basically is living the good life with his pet hobby turned business.
Cousin 3, geologist: in line to be director of the Bureau of Mines in the region where she lives. She does not have a Porsche, but she goes on field in some of the best locations in the Philippines, represents her office in conferences, does some outreach work, lives with her teenage sons, and personally attends to her ailing mother within a few kiloemeters of other relatives. They have family parties just about every week. And oh, the sons are studying in some of the best schools this island has to offer.
Friend 1, geologist: environmental scientist and junior partner in a consulting firm. She does not have a Porsche, but she does bring her kids to their respective (private) schools in Metro Manila in taxis, jeeps, tricycles, FXs. When her youngest had his 1st birthday party at Mcdonald's, she was moved by the number of friends and family who came to share those very happy moments.
Friend 2, geologist: by virtue of his having earned his lowly geology degree from the humble National Institute of Geological Sciences of the most decidedly run down University of the Philippines, got hired by one of the biggest petroleum companies in the world to work for the Southeast Asia division. He does not own a Porsche, although he can afford one, figuring that a good, ol' Toyota HiAce or even a hired jeepney is best for transporting his whole clan, the kaldero of rice, the lechon and the tiklis ng mangga to the beach when he comes home for a visit. He comes home to visit every three weeks from his post in a neighboring country, by the way.
This is not to discount your family's sacrifices as immigrants in the US, but just to inform you that there are people here in the Philippines who voluntarily chose to stay and do find success in their chosen fields. Some of them are even geologists. None of them own Porsches, and their children will only go to UP, La Salle and Ateneo and not to Stanford, Harvard or Maricopa Community College, but aside from the usual gripes come tuition-fee paying time, I don't think any of them are that miserable.
Hi,
I am happy na medyo settled ka na sa situation nyo. Isa ako sa mga readers ng blog mo, nag umpisa ito nung mag-america din ako at eventually ang family ko. Naghahanap din kasi ako ng mga katulad ko na bago pa lang immigrant at nag-aadjust pa lang. Pero sadly, after 18 months i was laid off and had to go back to the Philippines.
Pero ngayon andito na kami sa Sweden with a new job and starting anew.
Meron nagsabi sa akin dati na meron stages ang immigration: excitement, depression at middle ground. Siguro ngayon at nasa middle ground ka na.
I am happy to read na maayos ang inyong kalagayan!
best regards,
apee
Love this posts ! :)
Hopefully, I'm pass the depression stage (last winter).
Hey minotte, it really usually takes three years daw to settle in. Nice post :)
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