Small Indulgences

Sometimes, I find myself bound to things that I wouldn't normally find essential.

Perhaps, to comfort my soul, I just dashed out into the garden and snipped a couple of rose blooms to put by my side-table. I sort of added a few pieces in our bedroom--a side-table here and there, and refurbished lamps. Usually, how our bedroom looks is not a priority. Surprisingly, for the last couple of months, I felt like nesting, making it cozier, more comforting. What a contented feeling it is when you like how your house looks pala!

And my books, how can I live without them? Books are perhaps my best indulgences. Even so, I don't hesitate to buy them used.




Dala na rin ng mid-life siguro--the wanting for nicer things to surround you.

Every time I glance at the roses, I feel a certain blush. Maybe it is their beauty, maybe it is the energy of the blooms. They are just pretty and that is enough to make me feel my own worth--not specifically as beautiful--but as special.



I remember my friend who wouldn't spend for clothes or shoes but will spend P80,000 for a bed. She told me, "Every time I come home to rest, I feel so happy and content."

Now I understand. Indulgences, small or big, speak to our soul, not to our whims. It is important to know and see beauty--to remind you that God is beautiful and abundant and that there is hope for whatever it is that is lacking in my life.

And now I will never judge anyone when they have flowers or grapes in their hair, or if they want to wear a red hat with beads in the noonday sun. Not that I judge, but even those who have multiple cosmetic surgery may have their own reasons we can never understand.

That is why we buy a cute blouse on sale, that is why we buy a cute pin. We want to feel special, we want to indulge a bit after living out our lives for others day in and out. I am so used to denying myself of treats, I think it has become martyr-like and pitiful.

Here is my other treat this week. I bought a floral stuffed toy. Her name is Rose.


I bought her for $3 from my neighbor, Jeanne Adams, at the last bazaar I joined. I suspect Mrs. Adams is a pillar of the community--raising funds for yarn for their knitting group. She continues to sew for charity and for the needy. I held Rose for the rest of the bazaar. I think my clutching a rose bear spurred my sales, too.

Nevertheless, I felt innocent again (felt lang?), like a child, when my grandfather used to give me whimsical pasalubongs just because, even if I did not really need them. These memories were erased by the need to be practical as adults. If you don't need it, don't buy it.

I agree, but then some. Sometimes, even if your practical self doesn't seem to need it, your spirit does.

Thus, my small indulgences. . . roses and Rose. And even if my inner critic was aghast about "useless" things, I silenced her, "Oh shut up!" And then I got to know myself a bit better.

On to bigger treats.

What could you get to lift your spirits?