Friday, April 20, 2007

The State of my Hands

There was a time when my hands were nice. Many people told me I was lucky to have long fingers, long nail beds. There was a time when I had a manicure and foot scrub every week. My nails were buffed and uniformly filed. I could look at model nails in the magazines and be very happy comparing my own. Those were the times when choosing nail polish colors was the biggest problem.

In Manila, a complete manicure-pedicure service cost P100 pesos ($2)--and the manicurist came to the house. In the salon, it cost more, maybe $10 (for feet and hands, too). In the States, it is expensive, maybe because I am still converting. I scouted around and the cheapest manicure rate is $8 in a small nail salon, operated by Vietnamese. I have been tempted to have a manicure since I got here 2 years ago. But look, 2 years without a professional manicure turns your nails into a sad and gnarly picture:




Two of my fingernails are chipped from the middle of the nail bed and I am waiting for it to grow out so I can trim them without cutting my flesh. I felt a sadness at how nails and my hands look. In fact, I feel like crying. They look like they have aged and gone through severe chores, maybe just like all immigrant hands. Last summer, I made a mistake of wearing sandals when my toenails weren't polished. When people glanced at my feet, I winced and curled them in tightly. I also look at my hair--which I cut myself (at least in front). I notice 90% of my days are ponytail days and the grays are certainly showing. My hair needs a good cut and a good professional coloring.

My friend in NJ said she cried the first time she had a manicure in the States. I think it is because she felt her self-worth here again, when our tendency is to forget. A immigrants, we just concentrate on working and earning and fighting home-sickness. She has not gone without one since and she promises, it's worth it--to see your nails polished, to get a good haircut, and to have your hair colored at the salon.

The state of my hands and hair reflect my life. I tend to forget about looking nice, and when I remember, I don't have time nor the motivation to do it. My SF friend reminded me that looking nice is a gift that we must not take for granted. He said that we should use all the gifts we were given--inner and outer gifts--and not be afraid of our light.

I have a tendency to not want to shine, to blend in the background, to not call attention to physical appearances, rather I put a premium on kindness or generosity. With the children, I tend to put myself even last. I have to examine those values and see if it's time to change.

I must get my grays colored. . .

9 comments:

TOW Blog said...

((emailed from C)))

Oh my God! It looks painful!

Sometimes my nails chip that way too. So I just keep them short until they get stronger and harder. I find that nailtique or the sally hansen products to strengthen nails helped me. So with my short nails, I put the colorless nail strengthener. Our hands and nails really get bugbog plus the weather! When they are stronger, you can go to the nail place and get them colored but while they are still recovering, don't let them touch it first.

Hey how are you na? We haven't made kwento since that time before Christmas! My schedule has been really crazy plus I've been smoke free for 3 weeks so medyo crazy and getting fat. Ergo, need to excercise and walk so ubos my time!!!

We have to get in touch. This week is kids spring break. Naaay! 24 hours ko silang kasama! K will be taking the week off also - don't know if this is good or bad! Hahaha! Will let you know when week is over. Magiging tatlo pala ang aking alaga!

Take care Minotte! Don't make yourself always last! I totally understand how we put our kids need before ours BUT there are certain things we also need. I don't have a manicure every week like I used to but once a month if I feel like it I go and I just maintain it myself. And when it's sandals time, a pedicure is a must. They last a long time anyway! Sometimes as long as 3 weeks, so bali once a month rin lang. You are WORTH $10, OK? For hair coloring, you don't have to go to a salon. Get it from the drugstore and do your own hair. Jojo used to do it and it looked really good.

Hay naku mama minotte! We NEED to make kwentuhan......

TOW Blog said...

((emailed from MJ))

hello ate minotte,

i have been looking at my hands 3 weeks ago and even told my husband that they look old now. same as you, i had nice hands...nice nails too. my manicurist will go to the house and yes...$40 pesos lang noon...then $60. when i came here 18 yrs ago...i forgot about the words manicure and pedicure. i forgot about the words parlor or salon. the nice thing is that my husband encourages me to go and pamper myself. he takes time away from work to care for the kids and send me to a salon to have my nails done...he also sends me to the spa for a monthly or every other month massage.

i felt guilty spending that much money on myself (as all moms do i guess) so i learned to color my own hair and do my own manicure and pedicure. i went home to manila 2 years ago and went to hortalesa??? i think that is how it is spelled...and then bought my manicure set there because it is much cheaper to buy there than here. in this case, i spend less and i am still able to make my fingernails and toenails look nice.

next time you come over...we can do manicure and pedicure together. my sisters and i learned to do it na. always remember that you deserve to pamper yourself every now and then. think of yourself as much as you think of others. love yourself as much as you love your kids and others too. take time, live life, and love life.

MJ

Meredith said...

Bless your heart!
You won't find any $2 manicures here, but you can check at the local beauty college or vocational school for inexpensive haircuts and grooming. Ours offers a $4 manicure day.

TOW Blog said...

((emailed by Rhea)))

Like your friends said, mukha ngang masakit, kawawa naman ang nails mo. Yes I agree with them to take care of them. The nail strengthener & maybe regular hand lotion at night will make a difference.

Daily intake of vitamins & minerals will help your nails keep strong. The B complex vitamins actually prevent emotional depression. It's in my vitamin book. It's worth keeping your physical health up so you can better take care of the family.

If you can swing the salon coloring, I say why not? It may cost $30 but you've been working so hard all this time, I think you deserve a pampering. I think we women go to the salon to be pampered because we do all the pamering at home.

You're a wonderful, great mother, & wonderful, great mothers need to feel wonderful & great by taking regular breaks from being a mother to take care of themselves & recharge. Art classes, a coffee & kwento session with a friend, sports, pasyal time alone or prayer time in a chapel, anything that will make you feel recharged. I make sure I get this regularly. If you do, you'll feel happier & because you're happier & richer inside, then you'll have more to give to your husband & family.

If you let daily demands drain you of even basic self-care (upkeep of nails, decent haircuts / haircolor), you won't feel so good about yourself & this will be unconsciously passed on to Ricky & the kids. Eventually maiinis tayo sa kanila.

So, I think you're worth your regular personal time off from family, basic nail & hair care, & other basic things we do to take care of our physical & emotional well-being.

Sending you well wishes & silent prayers, Rhea.

TOW Blog said...

(( emailed from Jojo))


HA!HA! Welcome to the club!!!!!
This is a better solution, keep your nails short and clean. There is
no point in growing it, I personally do so much house work and cooking,
even if I had my nails done every week it will break. Its not having
it done often at home that made your nails nice, it was doing less that
kept your nails nice.

I put hand and nail lotion/cream as often as I can, most specially
before bed. You can get Beeswax cuticle cream which softens your hard
cuticles. You can get those buffers to make your nails look shinning, but
the most important is keep it moisturized. They don't really cut you
cuticles off here, so moisturizing it works. Put some nail hardener, but
not to often, it makes them yellow.

My toes are a different story, I don't know how to cut them properly,
but I learned how to buff it moisturize and in the summer (only) put
some polish on, that last long. So basically I really only do my hands
and toes in the summer because I wear open toes, and its cheaper to do
them together.
My nails are not as pretty too as they use to be, and they do look
different when I have them done, but again they are only pretty for a day.
Keeping it short works much better for me.

I still dye my hair myself, its easy you can do it, its just finding
the time.

take care and tawagan!

J

TOW Blog said...

hello everyone:

thanks for all your tips. it helps that i realized my nails are not alone in this and that it is really something we have to deal with here.

there's really no need for a weekly manicure when we do chores everyday. thanks for telling me that. it's just nice to think about. but it's time to be practical.

short, neat, and moisturized are the way to go for nails. do-it-yourself coloring is the way to go for hair.

but we must all concede, we all need a massage, don't we???

thanks for all the support!!!

TOW Blog said...

(((emailed from A)))

maybe treat yourself to a salon for manicure, pedicure, hair cut, color and treatment and massage at least once a year on mothers' day and/or on your birthday, then you won't feel 'guilty' spending. mothers' day is just around the corner so look forward to your salon visit soon!

Senorito<- Ako said...

I can empathize. I didn't cut my hair until the 2nd month when it really looks super wild already. I need to keep a professional image still. I got my first heartbreak here in NZ as well my baby was just 2month old back then, I had to leave them so not to miss out on the employment opportunity.

You should see the sole of my shoes. :) konti na lang kita na siguro yung socks. :P

Unknown said...

Oh, Minotte! I can totally understand where you are coming from :)

I thought that manicures and pedicures in North America were reasonable (because that's all I've ever known, having grown up here). That was until I visited the Philippines and had a manicure and pedicure for an incredibly low price! $2 for a manicure! I asked the esthetician if he/she (I don't know what to call him/her!) made a mistake in the price! It's incredible how much more expensive those services are here.

Luckily, I've moved to the country and my esthetician is cheaper than in the city. Her prices are about $5 for a manicure.