Out On a Date--with Myself

Dating myself is one of my favorite things (if not THE most fave). Going out and having a good (and frugal) time leaves me high and then focused for tasks ahead.

Working from home has its pros and cons. Writing an article online in my PJ's is convenient but when the kids are noisy and needy--my writing muse just dries up, like she were menopausal--taking with it not just my writing energy, but my spirits as well.

I enjoy looking for date places for me and myself. I work from home and mothering is my full-time career, and so getting out of the house is the equivalent of a week-end hot date. I park my van 20 minutes early when picking up my kids school so I can catch up with my reading. I think I have read 10 books (some twice over!) last year in the car alone.

But for date days, you will find me in a far end table in Starbucks. Christmas time is my favorite because they serve Gingerbread Latte (with whip cream on top!), luxurious for $3.35. Sometimes, I am lost in local bookstores--where I get to read all my favorite magazines for free.

Christmas was a bit tiring so today, I dated myself for lunch at our local Wendy's. I realized that they have the cheapest Value Meal. McDonalds has a dollar menu and so a double cheeseburger, fries and drink costs $3.25, while Wendy's same meal is $2.99. I know it's just a matter of a couple of cents but the Wendy's I went to was like a cozy cafe with upholstered seats, versus the vinyl of McDonald's--and at Wendy's, there was no smell of oil.


Guilt is an uninvited drag that keeps nagging me to get back home. Because I was having a good day, I strangled the gatecrasher and I went to the library to renew my books. There, I am always at peace in the embrace of the musty smell of books and very quiet people. (In my next life, I will be a librarian!)

(Oh yeah, one day, I will have a laptop to bring to my
dates too!)

My husband won't buy it, but the peace and quiet I feel in the library surpasses Sunday Mass, where my youngest is restless (and there isn't really time and energy to listen up), for sure. My library dates are definitely more spiritual and nourishing.

Last month, I found
Damn, Why Didn't I Write That?How Ordinary People Are Raking in $100,000.00 or More Writing Niche Books & How You Can Too!. The title seems exhausting but the books proved to be quite inspiring. Really, maybe one day, I too, will write a book. . .

This week, I am reading my library book called
Writing From the Heart by Hal Zina Bennet. Bennet says that our very own peak experiences, essential wounds and masked selves can be rich sources of writing inspiration and healing.



Bennet says that our masked self is the one we create to be accepted and/or get ahead in this world--the one that earns approval from our parents, peers. Meanwhile, who we really are is discouraged and hidden away. And so we develop a mask while the rest of the world doesn't see the being behind, dying to express herself.

So that's how my date ended--with an exercise to encourage me to write about my masked self. What a great date I had today. Sure beats the shallow and tiring small talk we engage in. . . and I didn't even have to dress up and put make up for it!

Time Saves 50% off

In our first 2 years of being immigrants, we weren't prepared for weather changes and appropriate clothes. So many well-meaning and generous friends and relatives gave us clothes for me and the younger kids, aged 12, 8, and 4.

People here have many clothes, and giving them away gently-used is a relief to exploding closets. We were quite happy to receive warm clothes in the winter and cool clothes for the summer.

This year was the only time I was able to afford to actually buy the kids their own winter clothes. Since I had time, I waited for the 50% off sale in Mervyn's and Target. I was delighted to buy them at half-off. I bought my girls pretty tops and matching winter coats. I realized my teenage boys' clothes were severe hand-me-downs from the 80's. I bought them current sweaters, and what my son calls "Dancer Hoodies," very current among todays' teens.

It was a pleasure to remember how handsome my teen sons have become, more so with their new, albeit sparse, wardrobe. It is a step up to know that these few pieces belong to them, were bought for them and suit them very well. And that, truly is a promotion of sorts.

I was also surprised to find that there seems to be a budget to buy clothes for me. I have used all the hand-me downs to over-used fadeness. I decided to buy more grown-up clothes, with better fit and current styles, instead of just pull-overs and baggy sweaters. If only I could buy other bottoms than jeans. Well, maybe next time.

I bought a red sweater, a black top for going out at night 9it had some details by the neckline), and an ice blue top. I saved $75 in all as they were half-price in Mervyn's. I am glad to have the time to wait and the time to go when the sale is right. That means Tuesday and Wednesday this week, starting at 6 am.

Cheers to new clothes and what seems to be a more workable budget. Sometimes I don't look at my balance and I always am surprised that there is some money to spend. Could be a Christmas present from the Lord himself.

We may not be rich financially but we are wealthy with time and that's a gift I intend to use to the max.