
Here in the States, I have been torn about going to work full-time somewhere. But something always keeps me home. Even in Manila, I nursed a clothing business that was viable enough so I had more free time. I think I have come to realize that my priority is raising my children first and a career has been always and only secondary.
In the States, it is hard to live on one full-time income. There is always pressure to work. But then, it is also hard to live with angry and wayward children, missing out on their wonder years--those innocent and smiling chubby cheeks when they still want to cuddle up to you. So between two full-time incomes and full-time homework tutoring and teaching them how to wait their turn, I continue to choose the latter. I am a full-time mom and a part-time writer.
Sometimes, my husband and I bicker about the lack of money. But since he is the one working, the argument usually results in my realization to be more creative about the budget. I have cut down on every possible unnecessary expense. But now, it is time to think of ways to bring in more money by working from home.
My writing income has tided us over but I have given up my health insurance for swimming and violin lessons for my kids. Believe me, I have stalled them from these activities but they chorused, "you said this year!" Heart-breaking naman, I had to make good on my word. In Manila, my kids had all sorts of activities--sports, ballet, Kumon--and they all thrived. I said no to ballet and Kumon here in the States. I conceded to my 5th grade son who is a wonderful swimmer and has been bugging me about violin lessons since 2nd grade!
So the violin and the swimming tempted me again to go get a full-time job. But then I realized, if I work, I will have to spend on clothes, gas, food.
Baka abonado pa ako! Plus the fact that I will be beat up when i get home--and inevitably
masungit. I remember when I was single and working and just crashed onto my bed after a long day at work. But with kids. . .not possible.
There is homework, dinner, rest time for my weary middle-aged bones. My secret weapon is Syrel--for without her, I won't even be able to work from home.
So I think it is more economical to for me to work-from-home. Uneasy with just taking the state's subsidy at first, my family is eligible for milk and cheese for my youngest. The kids are also eligible for free medical coverage from the state's Medi-Cal. If I work full-time, we will have to pay for these benefits and end having the same bottom line.
Meanwhile, I try not to be lazy and passive. I volunteer twice a week in the free public school to aid the overloaded teacher. I also help make crochet blankets for winter giveaway with the craft store group. My favorite articles are about pro-active groups helping the community.
And as for my full-time mothering job,I don't miss out on the opportunity cost to raise my kids to be kind, productive, and un-wasteful citizens. Many say my (Student-of-the Month)kids are confident and "good." My oldest son knows the value of work and money and is loved in school at his part-time job. He puts himslef through college now. In the long run, good work ethics will be instilled in them and they can go out and earn and pay taxes that will help out low-income families that need help, in return.
Though not monetary, my contribution to this county and state will be the strengthening of the already weak American family systems citizens that care for other people and or the world they live in. And my biggest return on investment of this time spent with them, money cannot buy and can be brought to my death-bed. It is a privilege indeed to know that the full-time and effort,love, sweat, tears, compromise, and no-sleep nights I gave were, not for some low-life boss/employer, but for my precious children.
And although I admire all the full-time working mothers out there, (wow!), I don't waste my energy navigating through office politics for a paycheck. Plus, an added bonus that money can't buy--I get to take a nap at 1 p.m.
What my husband would give for my privileges!